really abt me

my goods...
im honest and perfectionist straight & creative it are my strongest s traces which i know... coz there are so many.
my bad s...
i requires alot patience but i've not got any... too straight.. i requires lots of caring.. when im not... like to control everything... n plan and so on

I was not wrong...

Today i have confirmed that guy really got asperger s. i had to ask him... coultn stop myself lol, i said i noticed you've got some probs so i was wondering... have you got any mental probs? i thought seriously he would get mad.. but today when i met him again and was another embarassing situation, he has told me, he got asp. syndrome and ocd, so i felt funny n silly, now i know i havent got that, i think God put someone with that for me to see so now i donno anything anymore... I feel mercy on this guy i just would like say him ok see you... but i cant i know he will get hurt and cry later...he have told me all girls block/run away from him... so poor, so i'll say in another way or maybe dont say anything.

There's no hopes left for me, i look around and there's no hope left, i think im & always was something weird & which shouldnt be alive like a baby born without nose a monster which was alive with the help of machines to breath, i think it will be easy it will be fast i think it was in my destiny and God always knew i would end up doing this one day as He knew peter would denny him 3 times... something like me couldnt survive for long, yes something because i don't feel as a human and yes as a monster, even when im not depress i feel the same just something out of route which needs to be eliminated, my enemies will cheer and be happy the only thing i feel is for this, but in other hand i'll gain peace one thing i always been after and never found i hope God forgive me.

funny jewish guy

Since i met Alex i been trying my luck to find the same again, so...
Today i had a date with another jewguy, and i confess i was pretty embarrassed of being with him hehe, i laughed alot alot n lots because hes the funniest thing i have met, to be honest i think i met an "aspie" yes an aspie, who doesnt knows he is it, its so strange lately i have met lots of aspies, on virtual world not real, also i donno if they are pretending to be im just saying what they says me, but this one today was really an aspie man and i think he donno it.

Ok about the date...
Beside that i laughed alot from him, i was about to say fucked jewish look at me, im here in front of you! because he were looking at all the sides less to me... even when i was talking to him... what a shit... sometimes i caught him staring at my boobs like a geek jerk donno something retarded he just couldnt hide it... and i started to laugh... and i was sooooo embarrassed because he were talking so laud looks like he were talking to everyone in the pub less with me hahahaha hes really cute and now i udnestand why hes single, poor him...omg... poor him nothin fuck him! hahahah well this kind of ppl "aspie" are quite naive... i know that very well... so i drunk a vodka but as usual i never get drunk... my brain is too strong hehehe so i had fun and if he could speak abit lower we could be friends hehe.

to be shy is...

Why people shy? my view: People shy because they fear to show their defects to others they want show they are perfect so they pass from this world to air world, floating like a alien or simple retards... not really behaving naturaly... whats a shameee and... im one of these shames a retarded sadly & sad i feel now because i was victim of a similar situation... embarassing for me but not for everyone else in world. dam

cute music video

It makes me remember while ago when i had a fight/split with my lover :) it's a cute song.... as i enjoy reggae music.

some funny chatting...logs

For safety the nicknames was cut...

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elimon: heyy
lady_: i dont like your nose
elimon: ??
poselimon: come here and changed it
lady_: sure i ll
*********************************************************

lady_: do u mind to chat with a hetero girl?
alwayssadgirl: no its o.k lol
alwayssadgirl: so why ome int othe lesbian room in the first place
lady_: ok.... i didnt know it was a lesbian room
lady_: i just want make some friends
alwayssadgirl: it migh be better if you go to another room, or the ladies might start hitting o nu lol
lady_: hitting what?
alwayssadgirl: trying to chat u up lol
lady_: no but... i'd like to make some friends girls of course coz boys u know....
lady_: they always looking for sex
alwayssadgirl: r u into girls se xually
lady_: i dont think so...
lady_: how old r u?
alwayssadgirl: u ever tried
alwayssadgirl: 17
lady_: hmm ur so young
alwayssadgirl: o.k bye
lady_: well im sure i like boys
lady_: huh
lady_: dont wana chat anymore?
alwayssadgirl: do u fancy me
lady_: calm down
lady_: i just wana chat
lady_: is it possible with u?
alwayssadgirl: no sorry going now try emily shes nice
lady_: huh
lady_: ok
lady_: bye
lady_: dont be so sad ok
alwayssadgirl: its just i;m lonely
lady_: u looking for gf?
alwayssadgirl: yes
lady_: what age range?
alwayssadgirl: older lo lwhy
lady_: nottin
alwayssadgirl: u fancy chatting about girls i think
lady_: huh?
lady_: i mean
lady_: can we be friends?
alwayssadgirl: its o.k u must be busy
lady_: i made u a ques
lady_: u didnt reply
lady_: wanna exchange msn?
alwayssadgirl: lets chat on here first then i will add u asa freind
alwayssadgirl: do u have a picture on msn i can see
lady_: yes n u?
alwayssadgirl: i only have a profilepic ,i dont swap pis sorry
lady_: theres no pic on yr profile
alwayssadgirl: on msn there is
lady_: i c
alwayssadgirl: listen i better go o.k sorry
alwayssadgirl: u there

(p.s i didn't know it was a lesb room as it says only "ladies room" hehe nothin against anyway.)
*********************************************************

Eh pra rir ou pra chorar? rs

a new idea

i discovered...
Who is bad in communication goes well with who's good & talkative goes well with quiet,
eg. shy+outgoing=good / shy+shy=bad / outgoing+outgoing=ok but the perfect match is shy(bad on socializing) + outgoing = perfect.

talkative & shy ones always make good friendship with shy ones.

strange dream

Last nite in my dream, i was in the bus stop waiting the bus and appeared a girl taller than me blond long curly hair, i asked her if she knew where i could get this bus coz i was there for so long and nothing happened.. so she said me, come with me im going that way as well, and she took me inside ways with trees n looking like forests soo scary places, i saw people coming from that direction they was wet and using swimming suits as if they were bathing in a river nearby... ok, then she stopped there in middle of a calm street n started hugging me :O i felt.. im with a lesbian omg haha i said what you doing? she said just hugging you don't be so shy.. haha i said ok but if someone comes will try join us by force... she said heres not dangerous and if any appears we run... alright but ok she were just hugging once she tried kiss me a man appeared and talked to us and he were gossiping with other n i was embarassed =.= it was soo nice the way she were hugging me, shes were trying see inside my cloth but i didn't let.lol end of this dream.
p.s im not lesbian! i gonna post abt this later. :P

his first kiss *-*

The winner day

I was made big between the "man" today, what i always wanted to happen, happened. I can't explain much abt it, because only i understand the meaning of this glory to me, "i was made big between them" today was the day this happened.

Nightmare

Last night i had a bad dream, i saw many snakes around me and i was so scare... there was snakes everywhere =(
I guess this dreams is showing me something, yes i believe in dreams... bad or good they means something, and they can means too you're stressed afraid or worried or show us what we can't see awake =(
so i think there are really many snakes around me... many of them... i can feel the heavy atmosphere around me, i can hear the low voices gossiping... no it's not paranoia... this really happening =( God bless me & save me from those snakes venom!